Thursday, April 21, 2011

Fat Kids Can’t Keep Head Above Water

Those lovable Fatties jumped out to a fast start but were only able to tread water long enough to slowly slip beneath the surface in the later innings. Team Saunders stuck around long enough to hand the Fat kids their first loss of the season losing 9-12. On another rain soaked night the offense sputtered and the defense could never quite get their feet.


The bottom of the first was the most offense the Kiddos would display. A 3 run home run from Calm Kyle put the Fatties in the only lead they would have all night. Hippie struck out and is now proudly wearing the Pink Helmet. Bring good beer next week and not that boulder hippie junk. The Fat Kids had an honorary member join the team last night as Team Super Freas had his older brother Big Freezer roam the outfield grass with him. Big Freezer came up big with 3 hits of his own. Those 3 hits were 3 more than The Chode Cannode contributed. Heck the girl on the other team had more hits than Cannode, so did Glass Jaw who had a couple of singles using his wife’s high school bat. That’s right, Glass Jaw is swinging with a chicks bat. El Sukador took advantage of wearing the Pink Helmet for last week’s strikeout and slapped a single to left field. After Hippie struck out and El Sukador had to give up the Pink Helmet he was heard mumbling to himself “I’m gonna strikeout on purpose, the only way I can get a hit is with that magical helmet”. Despite the fast start from the offense things fizzled after the 3rd inning. The last ditch effort was the in the park homer from Team Super Freas to bring the score close at 9-10. But that was all the closer they would get.

There were moments of great defense, just not at our field last night. El Sukador tried to slide tackle a ball hit to center field. Team Super Freas almost took one off the face. Big Freezer was clearly afraid of a ball that went skipping past him only to quote Goose from Top Gun “Where’d Who Go?” The Chode Cannode went diving for a ball down the right field line only to have it slip by him and roll to the outfield wall. He did make a great pirouette turn and gun a ball into home only to have it then thrown around the infield like hot potato. The whole infield was scared of the only girl on the field and basically ran away from any ground ball hit to them by her. Pete the pitcher gave up 6 home runs but only one of them counted. One was a foul ball, and the rest were counted as outs. “I finally stopped trying to get guys out pitching and started to serve up the meatballs for them to hit out of the yard. That’s a better defense then I saw all night” said our fearless pitcher. The lone bright spots on defense came from Pete the pitcher who once again is fielding his position like a panther. Cookie brought the leather out last night and knocked down most of what was hit his way. On a rather miraculous catch from Team Super Freas in left field to save what would have been at least a double. He was seen swerving to his left and then back to his right only to hopelessly throw his glove about his head and the ball found the webbing. El Sukador commented on the catch with “did you see him move his hips? He is making salsa dancers jealous”. After a late night the Fatties could not muster enough firepower to overcome their mistakes and will limp into the bye week with a record of 3-1

Other notes: Canada’s intentional strikeout will not earn the pink helmet. Hollywood Bristow did not show up and rumored to have been going the reverse Michael Jordan and taking his talents to the hardwood. That has failure written all over it, do you realize how short that kid is?

No Game next week. Next game is May 4th which is the day before Cinco De Mayo which means Moustaches will make their return!!! You facially follicle challenged individuals have 2 whole weeks to bring you’re A game.

Don’t forget to check out the Fat Kids Gear which you can get the link on the right side on the page under Favorite Links.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Fat Kids Get New Uniforms

The Fat Kids are getting new uniforms!




These slick new uniforms were designed by our own Calm Kyle. In the process of ordering the uniforms we were awarded best team name by the manufacturing company. The uniforms should arrive in the next few weeks. There has been interest from the Faithful Fatty Followers in whether there will be Fat Kids gear available to purchase to show their allegiance to their team. You can get all your Fat Kids gear here:



Thursday, April 14, 2011

Fat Kids are Drenched with Success

Break out the slip n’ slides and don the rain gear The Fat Kids slide their way into a 3-0 record to start the spring season. On a wet and miserable night the formidable Fatties had great offensive production from the whole lineup and found themselves having to play sound defense to hold the lead. With the threat of rain looming on the horizon the offense was anxious to get things started before scoring runs would become difficult. They jumped out to 4-1 lead and never looked back. Plenty of offense and solid defense helped the Fat Kids to win 12-9 over the Reef Sharks.

Hollywood Bristow started the game off with a typical Hollywood double, a ball hit right at a guy and Bradley simply outran the throw to second. Team Super Freas launched a triple to the wall scoring Hollywood. Production from the two, three, and four hitters was on display as they were rounding the bags all night. In the top of the third inning Team Super Freas lead off with an in the park home run finishing the night hitting for the cycle. He was followed by a triple from Pete the Pitcher who was driven in with the first home run of the season from Calm Kyle who launched the ball well over the left field fence. Pete the Pitcher exclaimed “Now that’s what you like to see, wooo!” he sounded a little like Ric Flair from the WWF but it works for him. The Chode Cannode broke out an oldie but goodie with his patented swinging bunt. “I was using the swinging bunt a lot in recent seasons and the defense was starting to catch on that that’s all I did. I have really worked on getting the ball all the way out to the grass like the big boys do but I thought I could sneak this one in and it worked.” The Chode said. We have a Pink Helmet Winner this week; the honor goes to El Sukador. This poor sap had one heck of a game. In his first at bat he was called out when he stepped in the batters box with his wedding ring, his next at bat was a strike out with a flailing attempt at strike three. He was of course greeted by the cheers of his own team, thanks for the tasty adult beverages next week Suk! The Swinging Siv was also called out at the plate although his was a little different and won’t be charged with a Pink Helmet infraction because he hit too many home runs. We only get one and he decided to hit two more…stop doing that.

The defense was up to the task on a night where field conditions were terrible. With the exception of a few errors in the outfield from El Sukador and Glass Jaw the defense stood tall. I told you El Sukador had a bad night and it only got worse when he confused softball with a game of life sized Croquet and decided to play the part of a wicket letting the ball sail right between his legs. Another attempt at a linedrive left the poor Sukador on his back side, “you get a mass like this moving one direction and then try to stop it in a hurry, you’re gonna fall over”, and he did. Redemption was made when he threw out a runner at home. Glass Jaw was also picked on several times only to make a great catch to end a bases loaded inning. Other defensive gems included Calm Kyle getting kicked in the face on a play at the plate after a great throw from the Chode Cannode. “You know when you hit a 2 run home run, it doesn’t bother me. I could get kicked in the face all night and it wouldn’t bother me”, Calm Kyle said with a tear in his eye. Pete the Pitcher also had a diving catch to spear a line drive off the side of the pitchers mound. Hippie once again flew under the radar but put up a strong performace in the field and also with several base hit singles at the plate. The bottom of the 6th ended in typical fashion with strong infield play from UGA on a sharp ground ball and a quick throw to first to record the first out and Hollywood Bristow snagged a liner to end the game a few plays later.
Other Notes: Coach Jimbo did not attend last night’s game, nobody noticed.

Look for a special update coming mid week about big news for the Fat Kids and their Faithful Fatty Followers.

Next weeks game is at 9:00, pack your PJ’s and a pillow cause we are all playing past our bedtimes.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Fat Kids Suk It In

Fat Kids Suk it in




4-7-11



PHEW!! All of our Faithful Fatty Followers can exhale. That was a close one folks but those Fat kids hung in there just long enough to escape with a 2-0 record in the spring season. The Masterbatters kept the game close throughout and made it real interesting with a comeback in the bottom of the 6th inning but some rare defensive flashes put an end to their surge.

There was enough offense to keep the Fatties out front early on. The scoring kicked off in the first with Team Super Freas scoring from 2nd ending the first inning with a score of 4-0. The Chode Cannode hustled down the line for a base hit to the delight of his sons in the dugout, they have been renamed “The Mini Lasordas” for all the chatter they have during the game. Not to be out done Glass jaw ate his spinach before the game by ripping a double to the fence, later adding another single. Cookie launched a few singles from the left side of the plate as well. His RBI single in the top of the 6th added insurance runs which were desperately needed. Hippie proved to add the deciding run with a slow roller up the third baseline and beating the throw at first.

The Fat Kids were without their starting first baseman The Swinging Siv that was undoubtedly hiding in shame after being awarded the pink helmet for the first strike out of the year. Don’t you worry Siv the helmet is still all yours after none of the Fat Kids struck out last night. Surprised aren’t ya, so am I. We have yet to see Canada, not sure where he is at or what he is up to. Rumor has it he was training the back Canadian woods rehabbing his busted up knee when he got into a scuffle with Sasquatch. Hopefully he returns soon. UGA was also missing; he is in Michigan and asks for your payers that he gets out alive. It seems without these key cogs in the lineup the defense sees an opportunity to take a nap. Coach Jimbo playing first couldn’t keep his feet under him. A routine play to 2nd base couldn’t be handled which set off a comedy of errors which had The Chode Cannode giving his best world cup impersonation and kicking the ball back into the infield. “I thought El Sukador was going to pee himself he was laughing so hard”, Team Super Freas was heard mumbling. There were a few defensive highlights however. Hollywood Bristow had a great over the shoulder catch to make a key out. El Sukador rolled up his sleeves and unleashed a cannon from left center to gun down a runner at home to save a run which would prove pivotal. “Who knew a cupcake maker could throw like that?” Calm Kyle said. Pete the Pitcher had another great outing ringing up 2 batters once with a swing and a miss and another with the high cheese. He only made one big mistake giving up a 3 run jack in the bottom of the 6th to bring the Masterbatters within 1 run. That threat was stopped on a sharp liner to Hippie at 3rd to end the game.

After the game we celebrated with a very special cake for Pete the Pitchers 40th birthday.



For those of you who rely on a Husband, boyfriend, son, nephew, or niece in Jim’s case to have the blog or email forwarded. You can now enter your email address in the “Follow by Email” section on the side to have an email automatically sent to you when the blog is updated every week. I have also added a player alias identification page to help everyone understand who is who. You could also just show up to the games and cheer us on, you would learn who we are that way too 



Next game is 4-13-11 at 7:10 pm at Dekoevend Park.

Rumor has it Vin Scully might show up to call the game (don’t hold your breath)