Fat Kids Don’t Disappoint

After what can only be considered an embarrassing loss in the championship game the week before the Fat Kids made a triumphant return to the softball diamond. The first game of the summer season was kicked off with a Fat Kids W over Team Big Johnson 18-3. Several Fatties were not in attendance for a variety of reasons, No Swinging Siv, he’s wondering around Wyoming again. UGA is still recovering from his attempt at playing shortstop the South America way and trying to kick the ball with every ground ball. No idea where Canada was.


The game got off to a shaky start when Coach Jim Jim was playing first in place of the missing Siv when a sharp throw from Calm Kyle at third base was mistaken for a powder sugar coated doughnut. When he tried to catch the doughnut with his mouth he missed and it hit him in the cheek, only it was not a doughnut. After a moment to gather his thoughts Coach Jim Jim exited the game to sit in the ER waiting room. He’s not pretty but he is doing ok and only got 11 stitches ( he wasn’t pretty before so its not like it hurt anything). After that incident the Fat Kids vowed to avenge their fallen fat friend. The defense really stepped up their game with Cookie playing lights out at short and Calm Kyle moving over to first base. “I took ballet for six years when I was younger, that’s why I’m so limber around the bases” said Calm Kyle after he displayed his stretching ability to snag a throw. Pete the pitcher had his usual 4 outs on comeback grounders which he slowly jogs to the first baseman, almost to mock the poor hitters. Team Super Freas was one of the three man outfield and was tested early on in the first inning while tracking down a deep fly ball and making the catch at the warning track. Hollywood Bristow and The Chode Cannode helped cover the vast expanse of Dekoevend park outfield.

The offense was in an early lull and then exploded the top of the fifth to put the game out of reach. An early 4-0 lead was built off a Hollywood and Team Super Freas base hits and scored by a sharp line drive from Hippie. Also feeling his power increase was El Sukador, “we tried making Wheaties filled cupcakes, I ate a dozen of them before the game” said El Sukador. And it showed when he twice smashed liners to left center field. He should have thrown on a pair of glasses so he could have seen Cookie stopped in front of him at second base instead he ran up behind him forcing Cookie to try and advance and got thrown out. Holder had a solid hit to right center field just before The Chode Cannode belted a liner to center. Poor Fat Kid was tired from running around the outfield otherwise he might have made it to second. Calm Kyle scored on a shot down the right field line from Cookie and Kyle promised not to take out the catcher going into home, which sure was nice of him. There was another rare but now becoming typical 2 RBI sacrifice fly from Team Super Freas when he scored the Chode Cannode at third and Hollywood Bristow would tag and score from second base. That would be all the offense the Fatties would need to secure their first win of the summer season. I am no longer disappointed in the Fatties.



Don’t forget my Faithful Fatty Follwers the Fat Kids are now playing on Thursday nights at Dekoevend Park.



Next weeks game is at 8pm