Denver Post South Suburban Edition
10/28/10
Fat Kids Get Tricked
You must be from Colorado when you plan your Halloween costume around warm clothes or in Coach Jim Jim’s case Under Armor. Your beloved Fat Kids were dressed in their costumes last night with the hopes of advancing to the 2nd round of the playoffs. They should have dressed for success instead of a bunch of clowns. “Keith Stone was solid behind the plate but that crazy looking hunter and silly Pirate in the outfield didn’t know what they were doing” said Pete the Pitcher. Everywhere you looked a bad throw, dropped fly ball, or a missed grounder. The hitting resembled something out of the Michael Jackson “Thriller”, bunch of zombies. Overall it looked as though the Fatties ran out of gas.
Calm Kyle was dressed as Keith Stone, always smooth with his mullet and trucker hat. Southpaw Cookie was Kenny Powers from the HBO show “Southbound and Down” with his flowing locks protruding from under his ball cap. Hippie was a redneck, showing off his sweet thighs and flowing mullet. El Sukador was an “Unsuccessful Hunter” with his blaze orange hat and hunting socks. I think fantasy land is more a reality for El Sukador, just kidding Suk. Coach Jim Jim arrived in his 1980’s conversion van with the windows blacked out and his Chester molester moustache powerfully standing on his upper lip. And there was a random Pirate roaming in left field.
The lone bright spots in the field were el Sukador catching 3 or 4 fly balls to end the route of the first inning. Hippie catching a runner rounding 2nd base too far and threw behind him to get him tagged out. The Pirate caught a fly ball in the top of the 4th and let out a resounding “Yarrrghhh” to everyone’s delight. On the next play he managed to drop a line drive, the other team responded with a "Yarrgghhh" of their own. He responded by throwing out a runner at home. Ever been thrown out by a pirate, its kinda embarrassing.
As far as hitting goes The Swinging Siv was dressed as a B-52 bomber, wait that wasn’t a costume??, anyway he dropped a 2 run shot over the left field wall. Keith Stone also hit one out, with a mullet wig, also embarrassing.
The good news is the long season is finally over. This journalist had a great time covering all the Fat Kids’ games. There will be a spring training session sometime in March before the season starts so plan on being there. Be sure to vote on whether we should do a year end party or not. See you Fatties later.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Fat Kids Welcome Playoffs
Denver Post South Suburban Edition
10/21/10
Fat Kids Welcome Playoffs
With the end of the season with in sight the Fat Kids took the final game of the regular season over the Wahoo’s 10-7. The Fatties will enter the playoffs as the #1 seed for the first time in their history. The rest of the bracket has not been completed yet but it looks like they will either play Loud Mouth Sky ridge or the Nancies of Where’s my Pitches at? (Freegin nancies). We should find out later who we will be playing and I will let you all know. What we do know is that there will be either playoff moustaches or Halloween costumes; the most creative individuals will manage to combine the two. So lose your razors for the week and grow those dirty staches! Now on to the game high lights.
The Fat kids were without Glass Jaw, the Swing and Miss Siv, Southpaw, and of course the Canadian. Hollywood Bristow had an ace up his sleeve with his Brother from a different Mother Jared “JJ”. JJ took over third base, Hollywood went back to the outfield, Hippie manned the shortstop position Calm Kyle played first, the One Sock Wonder Coach Jim Jim played catcher, and The Chode Cannode still looked confused in the outfield. Fortunately there was enough defense in this game to keep the Fatties in the game. They held a small lead through out after the second inning. A ridiculous throw to gun down the runner from Hollywood to Calm Kyle to force a pickle play between 3rd and 2nd base. It was just like the Sandlot. “I got the ball and I threw it real hard, and then he got the ball and he threw it real hard, it was real neato” Hollywood Bristow said after the play. Pete the Pitcher stood tall on the mound once again dodging RPS (Rocket Propelled Softball’s) as they were launched right back at him. “I opted to have off season surgery where I would have my eye lids sewn open all the time cause if I happen to blink Tahlia’s not having any siblings”. Great defense up the middle from Aggie and Hippie completed the evening while they almost turning several double plays only to have the blind man call the runner safe. A deep drive late in the ball game off the bat of the Wahoo’s put a scare into everyone but the once great wheels of Super Freas tracked down the fly ball where it harmlessly fell into his glove much to the appreciation of Pete the Pitcher, you’re welcome.
There was just enough offense with Coach Jim Jim actually hitting to left field, JJ lining a couple base hits to center field and Calm Kyle getting robbed and then getting redemption. Calm Kyle mashed a ball to deep left field where the Wahoo outfielders were playing in shallow Westminster (they were playing real deep if you don’t get that joke) only to have the ball bounce off the left fielder and “not the fence” and into his glove. He got payback when he lined the ball off the fence his next at bat. “I just thought if I hit it harder he wont catch it”, brilliant thinking sir. El Sukador provided treats and laughter, we all appreciate that.
Playoffs start next week. You must either have a moustache or costume on or you have to talk to Cannode about Doilies, Kyle still hasn’t fully recovered from his chat with Cannode.
10/21/10
Fat Kids Welcome Playoffs
With the end of the season with in sight the Fat Kids took the final game of the regular season over the Wahoo’s 10-7. The Fatties will enter the playoffs as the #1 seed for the first time in their history. The rest of the bracket has not been completed yet but it looks like they will either play Loud Mouth Sky ridge or the Nancies of Where’s my Pitches at? (Freegin nancies). We should find out later who we will be playing and I will let you all know. What we do know is that there will be either playoff moustaches or Halloween costumes; the most creative individuals will manage to combine the two. So lose your razors for the week and grow those dirty staches! Now on to the game high lights.
The Fat kids were without Glass Jaw, the Swing and Miss Siv, Southpaw, and of course the Canadian. Hollywood Bristow had an ace up his sleeve with his Brother from a different Mother Jared “JJ”. JJ took over third base, Hollywood went back to the outfield, Hippie manned the shortstop position Calm Kyle played first, the One Sock Wonder Coach Jim Jim played catcher, and The Chode Cannode still looked confused in the outfield. Fortunately there was enough defense in this game to keep the Fatties in the game. They held a small lead through out after the second inning. A ridiculous throw to gun down the runner from Hollywood to Calm Kyle to force a pickle play between 3rd and 2nd base. It was just like the Sandlot. “I got the ball and I threw it real hard, and then he got the ball and he threw it real hard, it was real neato” Hollywood Bristow said after the play. Pete the Pitcher stood tall on the mound once again dodging RPS (Rocket Propelled Softball’s) as they were launched right back at him. “I opted to have off season surgery where I would have my eye lids sewn open all the time cause if I happen to blink Tahlia’s not having any siblings”. Great defense up the middle from Aggie and Hippie completed the evening while they almost turning several double plays only to have the blind man call the runner safe. A deep drive late in the ball game off the bat of the Wahoo’s put a scare into everyone but the once great wheels of Super Freas tracked down the fly ball where it harmlessly fell into his glove much to the appreciation of Pete the Pitcher, you’re welcome.
There was just enough offense with Coach Jim Jim actually hitting to left field, JJ lining a couple base hits to center field and Calm Kyle getting robbed and then getting redemption. Calm Kyle mashed a ball to deep left field where the Wahoo outfielders were playing in shallow Westminster (they were playing real deep if you don’t get that joke) only to have the ball bounce off the left fielder and “not the fence” and into his glove. He got payback when he lined the ball off the fence his next at bat. “I just thought if I hit it harder he wont catch it”, brilliant thinking sir. El Sukador provided treats and laughter, we all appreciate that.
Playoffs start next week. You must either have a moustache or costume on or you have to talk to Cannode about Doilies, Kyle still hasn’t fully recovered from his chat with Cannode.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Knights of the Fat Table Successful in Battle
Denver Post South Suburban Edition
10-14-10
Knights of the Fat Table Successful in Battle
Gather around and I will tell you a tale about a team of Fat Kiddos and their epic battle against Team Socko. This has been a long standing fight with the competition known as Socko. If you remember in the spring each team traded wins with Socko with Socko coming out on top and taking the trophy. Many more battles were had throughout the summer on the fields at Cornerstone. Again on this night the Fat Kids were victorious winning in the end after a seesaw battle 21-16. King Pete stood tall on his trusty steed of a pitchers mound, Aggie the Silent was steadfast in his defense of the 2nd baseland, and Hollywood the Twitcher provided the inspiration for the Fat Kids to reign triumphant in glorious battle of beer league softball.
The defense was magnificent from King Pete as he not only confounded the Sockos on a variety of knuckleballs, change ups, and sinkers. He also fielded his postion with the execution of a knight battling a fire breathing dragon, deftly moving side to side to snare the heat seeking softball only to throw the hapless runner out at first. King Pete was not the only fleet of foot athlete on the field this evening as Aggie the Silent made a great play to squelch the advancing enemy and halt their onslot of offense. Hollywood the Twitcher and Sir Chode Cannode also made great defensive plays to put down any advance from the evil Socko Empire.
The offensive attack from the Fat Kids was too much as they defended their keep. Base hits provided the consistent attack the Fat knights needed along with several deep drives delivering the fatal blow. Sir Chode Cannode had a couple of solid hits through the left flank, with Sir Southpaw Cookie and Glass Jaw the Brave attacking the right side. A barrage of offensive strikes were also landed with an in the park homerun from Hollywood the Twitcher and triples from King Pete and Sivahop the Quick, even though Sivahop the Quick was called out by the blind man at third. Kyle the Calm provided the needed deception to throw the enemy off his trail when he fouled off a long what would have been homerun only to keenly place a swinging bunt mere feet in front of home plate as he scampered safely to first. Additional firepower was provided by The Hippie from the North and Tribal Leader Suk Suk who was also successful in his quest to field a fly ball in the vast expanse of the outfield.
The Knights of the Fat Table play their final battle of the regular season next week at 6:15 and then enter the Tower of Doom of the playoffs.
10-14-10
Knights of the Fat Table Successful in Battle
Gather around and I will tell you a tale about a team of Fat Kiddos and their epic battle against Team Socko. This has been a long standing fight with the competition known as Socko. If you remember in the spring each team traded wins with Socko with Socko coming out on top and taking the trophy. Many more battles were had throughout the summer on the fields at Cornerstone. Again on this night the Fat Kids were victorious winning in the end after a seesaw battle 21-16. King Pete stood tall on his trusty steed of a pitchers mound, Aggie the Silent was steadfast in his defense of the 2nd baseland, and Hollywood the Twitcher provided the inspiration for the Fat Kids to reign triumphant in glorious battle of beer league softball.
The defense was magnificent from King Pete as he not only confounded the Sockos on a variety of knuckleballs, change ups, and sinkers. He also fielded his postion with the execution of a knight battling a fire breathing dragon, deftly moving side to side to snare the heat seeking softball only to throw the hapless runner out at first. King Pete was not the only fleet of foot athlete on the field this evening as Aggie the Silent made a great play to squelch the advancing enemy and halt their onslot of offense. Hollywood the Twitcher and Sir Chode Cannode also made great defensive plays to put down any advance from the evil Socko Empire.
The offensive attack from the Fat Kids was too much as they defended their keep. Base hits provided the consistent attack the Fat knights needed along with several deep drives delivering the fatal blow. Sir Chode Cannode had a couple of solid hits through the left flank, with Sir Southpaw Cookie and Glass Jaw the Brave attacking the right side. A barrage of offensive strikes were also landed with an in the park homerun from Hollywood the Twitcher and triples from King Pete and Sivahop the Quick, even though Sivahop the Quick was called out by the blind man at third. Kyle the Calm provided the needed deception to throw the enemy off his trail when he fouled off a long what would have been homerun only to keenly place a swinging bunt mere feet in front of home plate as he scampered safely to first. Additional firepower was provided by The Hippie from the North and Tribal Leader Suk Suk who was also successful in his quest to field a fly ball in the vast expanse of the outfield.
The Knights of the Fat Table play their final battle of the regular season next week at 6:15 and then enter the Tower of Doom of the playoffs.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Late Night Buffet Feeds Fat Kids
Denver Post South Suburban Edition
10/7/10
Late Night Buffet Feeds Fat Kids
A late night game brought a few former fatties back to the field to fill in some voids. Calm Kyle sitting out while serving his suspension for illegal Ring around the Rosie participation. Pete the Pitcher was on diaper changing duty, he he I said dootie. We welcomed back Josh the Fireballer to mound in Pete’s absence and we also had Puckerup Pickford and UGA back in the lineup. The revamped lineup provided enough punch to take down the hapless Total Power Stores 20-6.
The Fat Kids jumped out to a 12-0 lead after the first inning with Caliente Carlos providing a spark in the leadoff spot and El Sukador moving into the 3rd spot. Sharp line drives from El Sukador and Coach Jimbo, who actually hit it up the middle instead of a flair to right field, along with an infield base hit from Glass Jaw. A rare sighting never before seen was Hollywood Bristow stopped at first after a line drive…there was wide speculation that he had been cutoff from the candy at the snack counter at work. The best news of last nights game came when the newly renamed Swing and Miss Siv struck out as well as Southpaw Cookie battling a bad case of the whiffs. That’s 2 cases of tasty delicious strikeout beverages for next week.
The defensive effort was just enough to halt a big inning. UGA had a great stop at short to pick up a short hop and flip it over to Aggie for the force out. Puckerup Pickford had a sliding catch in right center and both Hollywood Bristow and Super Freas had failing diving efforts on fly balls to the outfield. Not to be outdone EL Sukador caught the last play of the game off a fly ball caught by Super Freas and relayed through the air to a diving El Sukador.
Post game treats were once again provided by the El Sukador, tastiness as usual. Thanks for bringing them every week, regardless of how we play we all know there are tasty treats warming up on the engine block of Suks truck.
Please be in attendance next week as Calm Kyle gracefully accepts his team initiated punishment of an hour long conversation about Doilies with the Chode Cannode, this could get interesting.
10/7/10
Late Night Buffet Feeds Fat Kids
A late night game brought a few former fatties back to the field to fill in some voids. Calm Kyle sitting out while serving his suspension for illegal Ring around the Rosie participation. Pete the Pitcher was on diaper changing duty, he he I said dootie. We welcomed back Josh the Fireballer to mound in Pete’s absence and we also had Puckerup Pickford and UGA back in the lineup. The revamped lineup provided enough punch to take down the hapless Total Power Stores 20-6.
The Fat Kids jumped out to a 12-0 lead after the first inning with Caliente Carlos providing a spark in the leadoff spot and El Sukador moving into the 3rd spot. Sharp line drives from El Sukador and Coach Jimbo, who actually hit it up the middle instead of a flair to right field, along with an infield base hit from Glass Jaw. A rare sighting never before seen was Hollywood Bristow stopped at first after a line drive…there was wide speculation that he had been cutoff from the candy at the snack counter at work. The best news of last nights game came when the newly renamed Swing and Miss Siv struck out as well as Southpaw Cookie battling a bad case of the whiffs. That’s 2 cases of tasty delicious strikeout beverages for next week.
The defensive effort was just enough to halt a big inning. UGA had a great stop at short to pick up a short hop and flip it over to Aggie for the force out. Puckerup Pickford had a sliding catch in right center and both Hollywood Bristow and Super Freas had failing diving efforts on fly balls to the outfield. Not to be outdone EL Sukador caught the last play of the game off a fly ball caught by Super Freas and relayed through the air to a diving El Sukador.
Post game treats were once again provided by the El Sukador, tastiness as usual. Thanks for bringing them every week, regardless of how we play we all know there are tasty treats warming up on the engine block of Suks truck.
Please be in attendance next week as Calm Kyle gracefully accepts his team initiated punishment of an hour long conversation about Doilies with the Chode Cannode, this could get interesting.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Fat Kids Bully Their Way to Victory
Denver Post South Suburban Edition
9-30-10
Fat Kids Bully Their Way to Victory
The return of the Fat Kid Blog has a little extra mustard on it this week. The Fatties returned to their winning way after a lackluster performance last week. When asking Super Freas what happened the previous week he responded with “My astrologist predicted a bad game, that’s what you get with fortune cookies beliefs but we are better now”. The Fat Kids won this week 17-7 with the 10 run rule in affect after 5 innings. The Game was highlighted once again with a strong offensive performance, a recent surge in defense skill, and a minor disagreement.
Super Freas was back and in a big way once again hitting for the cycle, the hard way. And when we say the hard way, boy has that kid lost a step. “I think I left those steps somewhere around 2nd base, I feel every bit of 30 years old”. Additional hits came off the bat of The Chode Cannode and El Sukador. Hollywood Bristow stretched his traditional single into a double. The Swinging Siv put a charge into one for it to fall short at the warning track; we’ll blame the wind on that one. Pete the Pitcher was happy to see the offense return after last week’s debacle, “Good hits from the Hippie and Aggie, heck I think Jimbo got one”.
El Jeffe the Southpaw who is a recent pickup off the waiver wire provided some fireworks with his gun from the outfield, twice throwing out runners. Once at home to Calm Kyle and another one on a close play to second where Aggie “tagged” the runner before getting into the base. El Sukador even had an outfield assist gunning down a runner at third, how the ump called him out is beyond this writer.
The real excitement came in the top of the 5th inning with Fat Kids in the field and the dugout full of wives and kids. Did you know the Fat Kids opened a nursery in the dugout??? Sorry, got off topic. Seriously though, where did all these kids and their car seats and strollers. Sorry, off topic again. The real excitement occurred with a hit to the outfield and the other guy’s runner coming home and he attempted to point something out on Kyle’s chest with his face. It didn’t go very well and Calm Kyle didn’t appreciate the kind gesture of the gentleman runner. After realizing his mistake Calm Kyle attempted to thank the nice man by placing his glove on his face, which everyone knows is a South American way of saying “I’m Sorry and I would like to hug it out”. The other guys attempted to resolve the issue by bringing a gift basket to home plate at the same time which was well received except for some jack whacker in the stands didn’t like the gesture and vented his frustration. In the end we all grasped hands and sang a rousing rendition of “Ring a round the Rosie”.
And then Kyle was asked to leave nicely.
Go Fat Kids!
9-30-10
Fat Kids Bully Their Way to Victory
The return of the Fat Kid Blog has a little extra mustard on it this week. The Fatties returned to their winning way after a lackluster performance last week. When asking Super Freas what happened the previous week he responded with “My astrologist predicted a bad game, that’s what you get with fortune cookies beliefs but we are better now”. The Fat Kids won this week 17-7 with the 10 run rule in affect after 5 innings. The Game was highlighted once again with a strong offensive performance, a recent surge in defense skill, and a minor disagreement.
Super Freas was back and in a big way once again hitting for the cycle, the hard way. And when we say the hard way, boy has that kid lost a step. “I think I left those steps somewhere around 2nd base, I feel every bit of 30 years old”. Additional hits came off the bat of The Chode Cannode and El Sukador. Hollywood Bristow stretched his traditional single into a double. The Swinging Siv put a charge into one for it to fall short at the warning track; we’ll blame the wind on that one. Pete the Pitcher was happy to see the offense return after last week’s debacle, “Good hits from the Hippie and Aggie, heck I think Jimbo got one”.
El Jeffe the Southpaw who is a recent pickup off the waiver wire provided some fireworks with his gun from the outfield, twice throwing out runners. Once at home to Calm Kyle and another one on a close play to second where Aggie “tagged” the runner before getting into the base. El Sukador even had an outfield assist gunning down a runner at third, how the ump called him out is beyond this writer.
The real excitement came in the top of the 5th inning with Fat Kids in the field and the dugout full of wives and kids. Did you know the Fat Kids opened a nursery in the dugout??? Sorry, got off topic. Seriously though, where did all these kids and their car seats and strollers. Sorry, off topic again. The real excitement occurred with a hit to the outfield and the other guy’s runner coming home and he attempted to point something out on Kyle’s chest with his face. It didn’t go very well and Calm Kyle didn’t appreciate the kind gesture of the gentleman runner. After realizing his mistake Calm Kyle attempted to thank the nice man by placing his glove on his face, which everyone knows is a South American way of saying “I’m Sorry and I would like to hug it out”. The other guys attempted to resolve the issue by bringing a gift basket to home plate at the same time which was well received except for some jack whacker in the stands didn’t like the gesture and vented his frustration. In the end we all grasped hands and sang a rousing rendition of “Ring a round the Rosie”.
And then Kyle was asked to leave nicely.
Go Fat Kids!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Fat Kids Tighten the Belt
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 8/12/10
Fat Kids Tighten the Belt
The Fat Kids are going to play another week of summer softball after an extra innings extra effort 18-17 win over the other Platte River Bar and Grill team. While the Fat kids maintained their playful spirit of beer league softball there was a hint of serious game time attitude on the field. And some serious playoff trash talk from the Preggo Posse (and Lee and Nikki) out of the dugout. The team was without their starting pitcher Pete the Pitcher who was tending to his wife on the eve of their daughters arrival. Congrats Peter and Natalie!! The Fatties have always welcomed new teammates and none have come up as big as Josh “The Fireballer” did last night. Enough quality pitching, a few defensive gems in the field, and some of the best clutch hitting of the season helped the Fatty Fatty Boombiladdies move on to the next round of the playoffs.
The Chode Cannode was in a world of his own last night, after having received his pregame good luck charm of being peed on from his son, went out and made game saving catch one after another. Did I mention yet that The Chode no longer has to wear the pink helmet??? Congratulations to the Swing Siv on his strikeout, hope that tiny helmet fits on your gigantic noggin! We like good beer for strikeout beer, not that crap that Canada brings. More defensive highlights from the game were UGA with a diving snare almost doubling up the runner at first and a groundball that El Sukador didn’t miss. Not usually a highlight play picking up a rolling ball but it is for him! Defensive lowlights include anytime the ball was hit to Tom “I add nothing to the conversation” Paliga.
The story of the night was comeback clutch hitting. After the Fat kids had their usual inning of blunders and giving up 3 runs they trailed 10-6. After allowing a single run in the top of the 6th inning to be down by 5 the Tubby crusaders kicked it into high gear to pull within 2 runs. With time expired and the Hippie and the twitching Hollywood Bristow on base and two outs on the board, Super Freas stepped to the plate to deliver a game tying double that glanced off the center fielders glove. “I heard my wife as one of the preggo posse members if she could get a ride home if I got an out; I wasn’t going to let her down”
Extra innings where you get one pitch to either strike out, hit it, or walk. The other guys decided to walk…a lot. To the disgruntled shouts coming from the ladies in the dugout. The Platte River Bar and Grill team scored 6 runs to be ahead 17-11. The Fat kids were down but not out. Coach Jim Jim was heard saying “it’s like when you order 50 hot wings and you gotta eat them all but get full after 40, you gotta keep going”, who eats 50 hot wings? Good grief Jimbo. The boulder Hippie delivered the game tying base clearing triple causing all hell to break loose in the dugout. Calm Kyle belted a hard ground ball into left field to seal the victory.
The Fat Kids play in the Semi Finals next Wednesday at 8pm and if they win that game they move on to the Championship game at 9.
Fat Kids Tighten the Belt
The Fat Kids are going to play another week of summer softball after an extra innings extra effort 18-17 win over the other Platte River Bar and Grill team. While the Fat kids maintained their playful spirit of beer league softball there was a hint of serious game time attitude on the field. And some serious playoff trash talk from the Preggo Posse (and Lee and Nikki) out of the dugout. The team was without their starting pitcher Pete the Pitcher who was tending to his wife on the eve of their daughters arrival. Congrats Peter and Natalie!! The Fatties have always welcomed new teammates and none have come up as big as Josh “The Fireballer” did last night. Enough quality pitching, a few defensive gems in the field, and some of the best clutch hitting of the season helped the Fatty Fatty Boombiladdies move on to the next round of the playoffs.
The Chode Cannode was in a world of his own last night, after having received his pregame good luck charm of being peed on from his son, went out and made game saving catch one after another. Did I mention yet that The Chode no longer has to wear the pink helmet??? Congratulations to the Swing Siv on his strikeout, hope that tiny helmet fits on your gigantic noggin! We like good beer for strikeout beer, not that crap that Canada brings. More defensive highlights from the game were UGA with a diving snare almost doubling up the runner at first and a groundball that El Sukador didn’t miss. Not usually a highlight play picking up a rolling ball but it is for him! Defensive lowlights include anytime the ball was hit to Tom “I add nothing to the conversation” Paliga.
The story of the night was comeback clutch hitting. After the Fat kids had their usual inning of blunders and giving up 3 runs they trailed 10-6. After allowing a single run in the top of the 6th inning to be down by 5 the Tubby crusaders kicked it into high gear to pull within 2 runs. With time expired and the Hippie and the twitching Hollywood Bristow on base and two outs on the board, Super Freas stepped to the plate to deliver a game tying double that glanced off the center fielders glove. “I heard my wife as one of the preggo posse members if she could get a ride home if I got an out; I wasn’t going to let her down”
Extra innings where you get one pitch to either strike out, hit it, or walk. The other guys decided to walk…a lot. To the disgruntled shouts coming from the ladies in the dugout. The Platte River Bar and Grill team scored 6 runs to be ahead 17-11. The Fat kids were down but not out. Coach Jim Jim was heard saying “it’s like when you order 50 hot wings and you gotta eat them all but get full after 40, you gotta keep going”, who eats 50 hot wings? Good grief Jimbo. The boulder Hippie delivered the game tying base clearing triple causing all hell to break loose in the dugout. Calm Kyle belted a hard ground ball into left field to seal the victory.
The Fat Kids play in the Semi Finals next Wednesday at 8pm and if they win that game they move on to the Championship game at 9.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Fat Kids Are Beefed Up
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 8/5/10
Fat Kids Are Beefed Up
Whoa nelly are the Fat Kids ready roll! After finishing the regular season with the best record in team history the tubby tumbleweeds are set to roll through the post season. The bats were still sizzling and the defense was stout once again for the Kids as they move to 8-1 on the season with a 14-4 triumph over the Coyotes.
The Fat Kids were once again without the Canadian and Calm Kyle and Glass Jaw. The Canadian must be doing well peddling his free health care selling copies of Emily Post’s Guide to Etiquette, as only Canadians can do. Calm Kyle was rumored to have been seeking enlightenment from the Dali Lama himself in San Francisco. Glass Jaw took 2nd place in a pizza eating contest displaying that his rehab stint in Great Bend Kansas went well. Without the usual “gentlemen” in the lineup we once again welcomed Jason “The Silent Assisin” back into the dugout. Why “Silent Assassin” you ask, “because no one has really heard him talk he just kinda giggles and then goes out and smacks a base hit.” The Assassin will be joining the team come fall with Frankie “UGA” Newman stepping down. It was rumored that he would pull a reverse Michael Jordan and try his hand at basketball but quickly came to terms with the fact that he’s not good at basketball. “Heck I’m only mediocre at softball, what makes you think I can ball with the big boys in a D-Rec basketball league” We would question the mediocre part about softball after witnessing a great catch on a line drive. I didn’t hear the music but the ice cream truck must have been circling cause he snow coned it!
The defense stood up to the minimal challenge the Coyotes provided with Pete the Pitcher going a record 8 complete games. “My arm is a little sore, just hope it holds out for my volleyball league come fall” Pete answered.
The offense took off from the get go with a 3 run homer over the left field fence from The Swinging Siv. “I swung the bat, the ball left the yard. What else do you want to know?” A man of few words. More solid offense where singles were the soup de jour was provided by the Hippie, Super Freas, and the Silent Assassin. The base paths were still smoldering after the bottom of the 5th inning with the Fat Kids up 8 runs and Hippie laced a line drive into left field. Hollywood Bristow stepped to the plate, with his intimidating presence at all of 5 foot 6 inch frame, and roped a hit to the wall in right center fence. What a way to end it on a walk off in the park home run. When asked how he felt about the games ending Hollywood was difficult to understand obviously either excited or over caffeinated. “oh man, I hit the ball and then I run and I hit the bases, and I run real real fast and I touch home and go Yeah!” Seriously, no more sugar for this kid.
The Fat Kids enter the playoffs in the number 2 seed. Game time is set for 8pm at the cornerstone fields on August 11th.
Thank you to everyone who voted in my poll on the Platte River Fat Kids blog. If Kris “the Chode” Cannode should strike out next game before anyone else strikes out he will be ICED before every game until someone else strikes out.
Fat Kids Are Beefed Up
Whoa nelly are the Fat Kids ready roll! After finishing the regular season with the best record in team history the tubby tumbleweeds are set to roll through the post season. The bats were still sizzling and the defense was stout once again for the Kids as they move to 8-1 on the season with a 14-4 triumph over the Coyotes.
The Fat Kids were once again without the Canadian and Calm Kyle and Glass Jaw. The Canadian must be doing well peddling his free health care selling copies of Emily Post’s Guide to Etiquette, as only Canadians can do. Calm Kyle was rumored to have been seeking enlightenment from the Dali Lama himself in San Francisco. Glass Jaw took 2nd place in a pizza eating contest displaying that his rehab stint in Great Bend Kansas went well. Without the usual “gentlemen” in the lineup we once again welcomed Jason “The Silent Assisin” back into the dugout. Why “Silent Assassin” you ask, “because no one has really heard him talk he just kinda giggles and then goes out and smacks a base hit.” The Assassin will be joining the team come fall with Frankie “UGA” Newman stepping down. It was rumored that he would pull a reverse Michael Jordan and try his hand at basketball but quickly came to terms with the fact that he’s not good at basketball. “Heck I’m only mediocre at softball, what makes you think I can ball with the big boys in a D-Rec basketball league” We would question the mediocre part about softball after witnessing a great catch on a line drive. I didn’t hear the music but the ice cream truck must have been circling cause he snow coned it!
The defense stood up to the minimal challenge the Coyotes provided with Pete the Pitcher going a record 8 complete games. “My arm is a little sore, just hope it holds out for my volleyball league come fall” Pete answered.
The offense took off from the get go with a 3 run homer over the left field fence from The Swinging Siv. “I swung the bat, the ball left the yard. What else do you want to know?” A man of few words. More solid offense where singles were the soup de jour was provided by the Hippie, Super Freas, and the Silent Assassin. The base paths were still smoldering after the bottom of the 5th inning with the Fat Kids up 8 runs and Hippie laced a line drive into left field. Hollywood Bristow stepped to the plate, with his intimidating presence at all of 5 foot 6 inch frame, and roped a hit to the wall in right center fence. What a way to end it on a walk off in the park home run. When asked how he felt about the games ending Hollywood was difficult to understand obviously either excited or over caffeinated. “oh man, I hit the ball and then I run and I hit the bases, and I run real real fast and I touch home and go Yeah!” Seriously, no more sugar for this kid.
The Fat Kids enter the playoffs in the number 2 seed. Game time is set for 8pm at the cornerstone fields on August 11th.
Thank you to everyone who voted in my poll on the Platte River Fat Kids blog. If Kris “the Chode” Cannode should strike out next game before anyone else strikes out he will be ICED before every game until someone else strikes out.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 7/29/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 7/29/10
Some New, Some Old, Some Short, Some Tall, but all Fat Kids
The Fatties were missing some of their chunky brothers and were replaced by a couple of new chunkies. Missing the game this week was the Hippie (went on a walkabout is what we were told), Canada is still peddling his free healthcare, UGA was said to be chasing gators, and Glass Jaw was rehabbing at an all you can eat buffet. We were joined by some new guys in El Heffe in right center and the Jason “The Silent Assassin” who took third. Both Fatties were welcomed into the Brotherhood of Blubber and played up to the Fat Kid potential. This week the boys faced off against the spring seasons semifinals matchup of Sky Ridge Medical, they were not real doctors but played one on TV. The game began with the fake doctors taking a lead early but the fat kids battled back to win 21-6.
Skyridge took an early 6 run lead in the top of the first with a comedy of errors from the home team fatties. El Sukador let a ground ball in the outfield slide under his glove allowing 2 runs to score. “Not sure what happened, I sucked it in but had a cupcake get in my way to bend over to pick up the grounder”. Hollywood chased a ball around half the infield trying to make a play at second, the Swinging Siv couldn’t come up with a play at first on the “slowest bang bang play” at first that anyone has ever seen, and the Silent Assassin was silent after dropping an easy infield fly. All was not lost on this night however. After the 1st inning Skyridge wouldn’t score again thanks to a strong stiff arm tag at home from Calm Kyle who showed flashes of the Bully. Strong Defensive efforts showed up from The Chode on the throw to home, catches by EL Heffe, El Sukador, and Super Freas. Solid infield play from the Silent Assassin, Hollywood, Coach Jim Jim, The Swinging Siv, and especially Pete the Pitcher with cat like reflexes to snag come backers on the mound.
The offense was slow to start after only scoring 1 run in the first two innings. The Fat Kids scored 20 more in the next 2 innings. The scoring barrage was started with a 3 run homer by now Calm Kyle, he cooled off after reciting lines from Serendipity behind the shed. From there the scoring just kept rolling, solid lines drives up the middle from Super Freas and Hollywood. Shots to right field from El Heffe and Coach Jim Jim, and a deep blast to El Sukador that buried in the corner long enough for him to round the bases sliding in safely at home before the throw could reach the plate. The Fat Kids racked up 6 walks in the game which has got to be a record cause these guys hate to walk…anywhere. In the end the Fat Kids were cheered on to their 7th victory of the season by the Preggo Posse and Lee. Second place is where it seems the Fat kids will end up even after their game next week. Game time is set for 8pm as the team enters August with one regular season game left before the playoffs.
Some New, Some Old, Some Short, Some Tall, but all Fat Kids
The Fatties were missing some of their chunky brothers and were replaced by a couple of new chunkies. Missing the game this week was the Hippie (went on a walkabout is what we were told), Canada is still peddling his free healthcare, UGA was said to be chasing gators, and Glass Jaw was rehabbing at an all you can eat buffet. We were joined by some new guys in El Heffe in right center and the Jason “The Silent Assassin” who took third. Both Fatties were welcomed into the Brotherhood of Blubber and played up to the Fat Kid potential. This week the boys faced off against the spring seasons semifinals matchup of Sky Ridge Medical, they were not real doctors but played one on TV. The game began with the fake doctors taking a lead early but the fat kids battled back to win 21-6.
Skyridge took an early 6 run lead in the top of the first with a comedy of errors from the home team fatties. El Sukador let a ground ball in the outfield slide under his glove allowing 2 runs to score. “Not sure what happened, I sucked it in but had a cupcake get in my way to bend over to pick up the grounder”. Hollywood chased a ball around half the infield trying to make a play at second, the Swinging Siv couldn’t come up with a play at first on the “slowest bang bang play” at first that anyone has ever seen, and the Silent Assassin was silent after dropping an easy infield fly. All was not lost on this night however. After the 1st inning Skyridge wouldn’t score again thanks to a strong stiff arm tag at home from Calm Kyle who showed flashes of the Bully. Strong Defensive efforts showed up from The Chode on the throw to home, catches by EL Heffe, El Sukador, and Super Freas. Solid infield play from the Silent Assassin, Hollywood, Coach Jim Jim, The Swinging Siv, and especially Pete the Pitcher with cat like reflexes to snag come backers on the mound.
The offense was slow to start after only scoring 1 run in the first two innings. The Fat Kids scored 20 more in the next 2 innings. The scoring barrage was started with a 3 run homer by now Calm Kyle, he cooled off after reciting lines from Serendipity behind the shed. From there the scoring just kept rolling, solid lines drives up the middle from Super Freas and Hollywood. Shots to right field from El Heffe and Coach Jim Jim, and a deep blast to El Sukador that buried in the corner long enough for him to round the bases sliding in safely at home before the throw could reach the plate. The Fat Kids racked up 6 walks in the game which has got to be a record cause these guys hate to walk…anywhere. In the end the Fat Kids were cheered on to their 7th victory of the season by the Preggo Posse and Lee. Second place is where it seems the Fat kids will end up even after their game next week. Game time is set for 8pm as the team enters August with one regular season game left before the playoffs.
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 7/22/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 7/22/10
Short Fat and Happy
The Fat Kids returned to the softball diamond for the first time after suffering their first loss of the season. Unsure of how the team would respond, the mood was light and the team was a little sluggish to begin but the Fatties soon found their rhythm. On a night where the boys were left short handed and only playing with nine guys, they returned to their season form and played ball with a jovial spirit to pull out an 18-7 victory.
The team was shorthanded last night missing El Sukador, who had taken his search for the great mountain Yetti to the plains of Kansas, The Canadian who was probably peddling free health care, and Glass Jaw Holder who is still on the disabled list. The Fat kids made due with only 3 guys in the outfield which made Hollywood Bristow real excited to run around. “I drank like 3 mountain dews and ate a bunch of candy out of the concessions before I showed up so I would have enough energy to burn” said Hollywood. Yeah, cause you need to have more energy. He wasn’t the only getting his running in and the Yahoos picked on The Chode Cannode out in right field. He had enough fight left in him to make a great catch on a hard line drive that died at the last second and The Chode “snow coned” it, mmm snow cones. Other great defensive plays from The Swinging Siv on a hot line drive and a sliding catch by the Cycle Machine in left kept the Yahoos potent offense at bay.
The offense made an appearance last night as well. Unfortunately the offensive highlights were rather offensive with the arrival of the belly flop competition that broke out. The Swinging Siv “slide” into third where it was more of a “I am going to gently lower myself to the ground in a really awkward way” which was followed by a Calm Kyle “I’m not fast enough to score from second so I am gonna take you out” slide at home. He was called out, still not fast enough. The flop that stole the show was a Flying Squirrel flop performed by The Chode where he did a front flip over the catcher to land on the plate. Not fast enough to be called safe, but acrobatic enough. It was also another week of solid hitting from the usual suspects like Hippie, Coach Jim Jim, and UGA. Oh and another thing, can we get a picture of what a stop sign looks like and what it means because I am pretty sure Hollywood has never seen a stop sign he couldn’t run through.
The Fat kids are 6-1 on the season and pick things up again next week with a 7:10 game.
Short Fat and Happy
The Fat Kids returned to the softball diamond for the first time after suffering their first loss of the season. Unsure of how the team would respond, the mood was light and the team was a little sluggish to begin but the Fatties soon found their rhythm. On a night where the boys were left short handed and only playing with nine guys, they returned to their season form and played ball with a jovial spirit to pull out an 18-7 victory.
The team was shorthanded last night missing El Sukador, who had taken his search for the great mountain Yetti to the plains of Kansas, The Canadian who was probably peddling free health care, and Glass Jaw Holder who is still on the disabled list. The Fat kids made due with only 3 guys in the outfield which made Hollywood Bristow real excited to run around. “I drank like 3 mountain dews and ate a bunch of candy out of the concessions before I showed up so I would have enough energy to burn” said Hollywood. Yeah, cause you need to have more energy. He wasn’t the only getting his running in and the Yahoos picked on The Chode Cannode out in right field. He had enough fight left in him to make a great catch on a hard line drive that died at the last second and The Chode “snow coned” it, mmm snow cones. Other great defensive plays from The Swinging Siv on a hot line drive and a sliding catch by the Cycle Machine in left kept the Yahoos potent offense at bay.
The offense made an appearance last night as well. Unfortunately the offensive highlights were rather offensive with the arrival of the belly flop competition that broke out. The Swinging Siv “slide” into third where it was more of a “I am going to gently lower myself to the ground in a really awkward way” which was followed by a Calm Kyle “I’m not fast enough to score from second so I am gonna take you out” slide at home. He was called out, still not fast enough. The flop that stole the show was a Flying Squirrel flop performed by The Chode where he did a front flip over the catcher to land on the plate. Not fast enough to be called safe, but acrobatic enough. It was also another week of solid hitting from the usual suspects like Hippie, Coach Jim Jim, and UGA. Oh and another thing, can we get a picture of what a stop sign looks like and what it means because I am pretty sure Hollywood has never seen a stop sign he couldn’t run through.
The Fat kids are 6-1 on the season and pick things up again next week with a 7:10 game.
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 7/15/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 7/15/10
Fat Kids Left Hungry
On a night where spirits were high and expectations were starting to build the Fat Kids stubbed their fat little toes. The game wasn’t exciting on this Wednesday night; it would be tough to describe the game as even fun which makes writing about the game rather difficult. The Fat Kids have built a reputation of being light hearted and fun loving even games where they are defeated. That was not the case last night. The Fat Kids squared off against Team Denver Water…or is it Team Saucy, we’re not really sure. They couldn’t have been Team Saucy because that team is a D-Comp team so they would have no reason to be playing in a D-Rec league would they??? Unless of course their egos and self-esteem were directly linked to playing recreational softball, which in this case they clearly are. In all fairness Team Denver Water, err Saucy (lets just call them Saucy Water from now on), Team Saucy Water did out hit the Fat kids but the Fat Kids out classed them.
The game started as anti dramatic as it ended. El Sukador returned from a little R&R in the great northern territory or Minnesota where he was rumored to have been hunting for Bigfoot, silly El Sukador doesn’t he know that Sasquatch lives in the Himalayas. He managed to score the Fat Kids first run of the game to bring them within 2 runs in the bottom of the second. After a scoreless top of the 3rd, thanks to stellar pitching from Peter the sometimes Great, the Fat Kids took a brief lead after Hippie and Hollywood single and Super Freas brought them around to score on a triple over the left fielders head. He would score on the next pitch on a sac fly from the Swinging Siv. Great plays in the field kept the Fat Kids in the game with over the shoulder catches from UGA and The swinging Siv as well as great outfield catches to end innings from The Chode and Super Freas.
The game got ugly when a throw from the Chode into Hollywood carried the bulky Hollywood into the runner at second base where he was tagged out for the 2 out of the inning. Apparently the runner known simply as the Dentist after making a comment about Hollywood’s teeth, he didn’t appreciate being landed on. “I wouldn’t run into Hollywood, dude is 140 pounds of fury, raging fury I tell ya” Jimbo Paglia was quoted after the game. Hollywood tried to be a gentleman and show good sportsmanship but the dentist and the rest of the Neanderthals would have nothing of it, this started the jawing out of their GED equivalent dugout. The game without with out a lot of fireworks and the Fat Kids were happy to get that one out of the way and move on to next week. Canada was heard saying “I feel dumber after having been on the same field with those guys, let’s get out of here before the IQ drops anymore” The Fat Kids pick it up again next week with an 8 o’clock start time.
Fat Kids Left Hungry
On a night where spirits were high and expectations were starting to build the Fat Kids stubbed their fat little toes. The game wasn’t exciting on this Wednesday night; it would be tough to describe the game as even fun which makes writing about the game rather difficult. The Fat Kids have built a reputation of being light hearted and fun loving even games where they are defeated. That was not the case last night. The Fat Kids squared off against Team Denver Water…or is it Team Saucy, we’re not really sure. They couldn’t have been Team Saucy because that team is a D-Comp team so they would have no reason to be playing in a D-Rec league would they??? Unless of course their egos and self-esteem were directly linked to playing recreational softball, which in this case they clearly are. In all fairness Team Denver Water, err Saucy (lets just call them Saucy Water from now on), Team Saucy Water did out hit the Fat kids but the Fat Kids out classed them.
The game started as anti dramatic as it ended. El Sukador returned from a little R&R in the great northern territory or Minnesota where he was rumored to have been hunting for Bigfoot, silly El Sukador doesn’t he know that Sasquatch lives in the Himalayas. He managed to score the Fat Kids first run of the game to bring them within 2 runs in the bottom of the second. After a scoreless top of the 3rd, thanks to stellar pitching from Peter the sometimes Great, the Fat Kids took a brief lead after Hippie and Hollywood single and Super Freas brought them around to score on a triple over the left fielders head. He would score on the next pitch on a sac fly from the Swinging Siv. Great plays in the field kept the Fat Kids in the game with over the shoulder catches from UGA and The swinging Siv as well as great outfield catches to end innings from The Chode and Super Freas.
The game got ugly when a throw from the Chode into Hollywood carried the bulky Hollywood into the runner at second base where he was tagged out for the 2 out of the inning. Apparently the runner known simply as the Dentist after making a comment about Hollywood’s teeth, he didn’t appreciate being landed on. “I wouldn’t run into Hollywood, dude is 140 pounds of fury, raging fury I tell ya” Jimbo Paglia was quoted after the game. Hollywood tried to be a gentleman and show good sportsmanship but the dentist and the rest of the Neanderthals would have nothing of it, this started the jawing out of their GED equivalent dugout. The game without with out a lot of fireworks and the Fat Kids were happy to get that one out of the way and move on to next week. Canada was heard saying “I feel dumber after having been on the same field with those guys, let’s get out of here before the IQ drops anymore” The Fat Kids pick it up again next week with an 8 o’clock start time.
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 7/8/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 7/8/10
Fat Kids Beef Up Their Record
7/8/10
The Fat Kids kept the train rolling on a chilly Wednesday evening out at Cornerstone Park improving their overall record to 5-0. It was a tough fought game with several factors standing in the way that usually trip up an unfocused Fat Kid team. Historically the Fat Kids perform poorly the game after a bye week. They create a comedy of errors on a wet field. They double up on those errors by visiting the team sponsor The Platte River Grill, home of the Gut Busting Fat Kid favorite Paparito. Lastly playing a 9 o’clock game where their bellies are full of adult beverages and bar food. This combination has generally left the Fat kids feeling full of doubt. But not on this night where a great momentum has kept the tubby teammates rolling up the standings by way of timely hitting and breath taking catches.
The Fat Kids took charge of the game early getting on the board in the first inning by putting up an 8 spot highlighted by a 2 run shot to left field off the bat of Kyle “Goosfraba” Bremen. “I was just happy I got to hit one this game, the real all-stars of the team in Super Freas and The Swinging Siv always get the jacks.” Goosfraba also hit a shot to the warning track later in the game where he ended up at second. The hitting continued where it seemed as though Sweet Chops Caliente Carlos and The Swinging Siv were constantly rounding the bags. Not to mention the 3rd cycle of the year for the Cycle Machine Super Freas. “It’s a simple game, you throw the ball, you hit the ball, and you catch the ball. Tonight, nobody was catching what I was hitting.” The Cycle Machine was overheard saying after the game. Thanks for the deep insight. Not all the fireworks came from hitting as the teams pink helmet traded hands for striking out on Wednesday night as Kris “The Pink Nightmare” Cannode will dawn lovely pink helmet until the next dolt stares at a perfect pitch that was right down the middle of the plate thigh high for strike three. That won’t happen again will it…?
Fortunately the Fat Kids brought their gloves to the park where the infield was lighting it up once again. The only exception was an errant throw by Hollywood Bristow to the second baseman UGA. “Not sure what happened or why I decided to throw a rocket to Newman, pretty sure he had it comin though.” Hollywood was quoted attempting to defend wild toss. UGA played another solid game at second fielding scorched ground balls that were sure base hits. The outfield provided a little excitement when a deep drive to right center field caught the Pink Nightmare and the Canadian struggling to track it down. Ultimately a glove save from the Canadian kept the puck out of the net, err made the 1st out of the 6th and final inning. A sliding catch from the Super Freas and hot liner that was picked off Hollywood’s shoelaces would end the game with the Fat Kids winning 18-15 and picking up their 5th straight win.
Next weeks game is at 6:15 at Cornerstone Park once again.
Fat Kids Beef Up Their Record
7/8/10
The Fat Kids kept the train rolling on a chilly Wednesday evening out at Cornerstone Park improving their overall record to 5-0. It was a tough fought game with several factors standing in the way that usually trip up an unfocused Fat Kid team. Historically the Fat Kids perform poorly the game after a bye week. They create a comedy of errors on a wet field. They double up on those errors by visiting the team sponsor The Platte River Grill, home of the Gut Busting Fat Kid favorite Paparito. Lastly playing a 9 o’clock game where their bellies are full of adult beverages and bar food. This combination has generally left the Fat kids feeling full of doubt. But not on this night where a great momentum has kept the tubby teammates rolling up the standings by way of timely hitting and breath taking catches.
The Fat Kids took charge of the game early getting on the board in the first inning by putting up an 8 spot highlighted by a 2 run shot to left field off the bat of Kyle “Goosfraba” Bremen. “I was just happy I got to hit one this game, the real all-stars of the team in Super Freas and The Swinging Siv always get the jacks.” Goosfraba also hit a shot to the warning track later in the game where he ended up at second. The hitting continued where it seemed as though Sweet Chops Caliente Carlos and The Swinging Siv were constantly rounding the bags. Not to mention the 3rd cycle of the year for the Cycle Machine Super Freas. “It’s a simple game, you throw the ball, you hit the ball, and you catch the ball. Tonight, nobody was catching what I was hitting.” The Cycle Machine was overheard saying after the game. Thanks for the deep insight. Not all the fireworks came from hitting as the teams pink helmet traded hands for striking out on Wednesday night as Kris “The Pink Nightmare” Cannode will dawn lovely pink helmet until the next dolt stares at a perfect pitch that was right down the middle of the plate thigh high for strike three. That won’t happen again will it…?
Fortunately the Fat Kids brought their gloves to the park where the infield was lighting it up once again. The only exception was an errant throw by Hollywood Bristow to the second baseman UGA. “Not sure what happened or why I decided to throw a rocket to Newman, pretty sure he had it comin though.” Hollywood was quoted attempting to defend wild toss. UGA played another solid game at second fielding scorched ground balls that were sure base hits. The outfield provided a little excitement when a deep drive to right center field caught the Pink Nightmare and the Canadian struggling to track it down. Ultimately a glove save from the Canadian kept the puck out of the net, err made the 1st out of the 6th and final inning. A sliding catch from the Super Freas and hot liner that was picked off Hollywood’s shoelaces would end the game with the Fat Kids winning 18-15 and picking up their 5th straight win.
Next weeks game is at 6:15 at Cornerstone Park once again.
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 6/24/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 6/24/10
Fired Up Fat Kids Fuel Rout
Whoa Nelly the Fat Kids are on a roll here the last couple of weeks after a come from behind win last week and then a pummeling victory out at Cornerstone Park this week. The Fat Kids definitely had their tickets this week as team Gun Show really only had pea shooters so to speak. This fantastic start to the summer season is the best in team history going undefeated through the first 4 games. The win was highlighted with some dandy defense, spectacular hitting, and some quality pitching, the main ingredients that winning beer league softball teams are made of.
The defensive lineup was shaken up a bit with the return of Caliente Carlos, who will now be known as the Hillbilly Hippie due to him sporting a fresh cut mullet this week, and the absence in the field of Alejandro Holder they had UGA playing 2nd and Hollywood Bristow holding down shortstop. When asking UGA how he felt about being moved to 2nd he responded with “I’m cool with it, I didn’t like being that close to the Hillbilly Hippie at 3rd anyway, and do you even know what Hillbillies or Hippies smell like? Let alone a combination?” The defensive lineup led to a double play and nearly 2 more. Along with the middle infield, enough credit is not given to Pete the Pitcher for fielding his position, way to go Pete! Several times a game Pete is snagging liners and one hoppers back up the middle to end an inning letting the rest of the defense breath a sigh of relief.
Pete’s the Pitchers precise pitches were punctuated with prime hitting from a primo lineup drafted by the Paliga. Enough P’s and on to the H’s! The offense was sparked in the bottom of the 1st with a 3 run blast from Super Freas much to the dismay of newly dubbed Calm Kyle. Why Calm Kyle you ask? He made a pledge to young fan in the crowd at the beginning of the season to quit picking on people, plus he started reading Pride and Prejudice and that has helped his temper. The hitting continued from the Sprinting Siv, The Slapping Suk, Calm Kyle, The Canadian Klondike, and Clamoring Cannode even strolled around the bags giving the Fat Kids a 13-3 W on the night.
It was good to see Glass Jaw Holder at the game tonight as he quietly cheered on his beloved Fat Kid teammates. The Fat Kids have a bye next week so you might get a fishing report from Cherry Creek state park instead.
Fired Up Fat Kids Fuel Rout
Whoa Nelly the Fat Kids are on a roll here the last couple of weeks after a come from behind win last week and then a pummeling victory out at Cornerstone Park this week. The Fat Kids definitely had their tickets this week as team Gun Show really only had pea shooters so to speak. This fantastic start to the summer season is the best in team history going undefeated through the first 4 games. The win was highlighted with some dandy defense, spectacular hitting, and some quality pitching, the main ingredients that winning beer league softball teams are made of.
The defensive lineup was shaken up a bit with the return of Caliente Carlos, who will now be known as the Hillbilly Hippie due to him sporting a fresh cut mullet this week, and the absence in the field of Alejandro Holder they had UGA playing 2nd and Hollywood Bristow holding down shortstop. When asking UGA how he felt about being moved to 2nd he responded with “I’m cool with it, I didn’t like being that close to the Hillbilly Hippie at 3rd anyway, and do you even know what Hillbillies or Hippies smell like? Let alone a combination?” The defensive lineup led to a double play and nearly 2 more. Along with the middle infield, enough credit is not given to Pete the Pitcher for fielding his position, way to go Pete! Several times a game Pete is snagging liners and one hoppers back up the middle to end an inning letting the rest of the defense breath a sigh of relief.
Pete’s the Pitchers precise pitches were punctuated with prime hitting from a primo lineup drafted by the Paliga. Enough P’s and on to the H’s! The offense was sparked in the bottom of the 1st with a 3 run blast from Super Freas much to the dismay of newly dubbed Calm Kyle. Why Calm Kyle you ask? He made a pledge to young fan in the crowd at the beginning of the season to quit picking on people, plus he started reading Pride and Prejudice and that has helped his temper. The hitting continued from the Sprinting Siv, The Slapping Suk, Calm Kyle, The Canadian Klondike, and Clamoring Cannode even strolled around the bags giving the Fat Kids a 13-3 W on the night.
It was good to see Glass Jaw Holder at the game tonight as he quietly cheered on his beloved Fat Kid teammates. The Fat Kids have a bye next week so you might get a fishing report from Cherry Creek state park instead.
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 6/18/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 6/18/10
Fat Kids Bust Out
The Fat Kids faced a familiar opponent on Wednesday evening in Team Socko. If you remember Team Socko and the Fat Kids faced off in the Spring Championship with Team Socko coming away the victor. The Fat Kids weren’t going to let that happen again, with strong defense and enough offense to get them past Socko 9-5.
Black patches were worn in honor of Alejandro Holder who took an errant throw to the jaw last week. Also absent from the game was Frankie “UGA” Newman who was welcomed his daughter into the world. There was contention as to whether missing the game due to child birth was reasonable, I’ll allow it. We aren’t sure where the Hippie was at, I thought 4/20 was a couple of months ago? Without the majority of our infield present we welcomed Tom “I have little useful information to contribute to conversations” Paliga to the field to play right center. Apparently there was a little rust to shake off as the inevitable double error play showed up in the bottom of the 3rd inning allowing Socko to score 3 runs to take the early lead. The rest of the position shake up worked to perfection with Canada holding down second base and Hollywood Bristow making ridiculous plays from shortstop. Canada had several infield assists but the most spectacular play was when Hollywood bobbled the grounder only to flip it behind his back to Canada to record the force out at second. When asking Hollywood how he felt playing short he responded with “Yo son I tell ya what, I’m just ballin out there, feelin the flow, know what I’m saying”. Well no Hollywood, we aren’t sure what you are talking about but you played well.
Disaster was narrowly avoided when an absent babysitter nearly cost the Fat Kids to be a man down in the field. And where was the team mom? “I had to say hi to my family; did you know that the Morroni Family has the greatest concentration of family members in the Denver area than anywhere else?” We did not know that but we are not surprised either. With that near catastrophe avoided the Fat Kids broke out there beaten sticks in the top of the 7th to seal the victory and get the Kids to 3-0 on the season. The big hits were provided by the Siv who dropped a bomb in the first inning and strong base hits from the rest of the squad. The next Fat Kids game is 6/23/10 at 9:00, bring your pj’s and a pillow for this nightcap.
Fat Kids Bust Out
The Fat Kids faced a familiar opponent on Wednesday evening in Team Socko. If you remember Team Socko and the Fat Kids faced off in the Spring Championship with Team Socko coming away the victor. The Fat Kids weren’t going to let that happen again, with strong defense and enough offense to get them past Socko 9-5.
Black patches were worn in honor of Alejandro Holder who took an errant throw to the jaw last week. Also absent from the game was Frankie “UGA” Newman who was welcomed his daughter into the world. There was contention as to whether missing the game due to child birth was reasonable, I’ll allow it. We aren’t sure where the Hippie was at, I thought 4/20 was a couple of months ago? Without the majority of our infield present we welcomed Tom “I have little useful information to contribute to conversations” Paliga to the field to play right center. Apparently there was a little rust to shake off as the inevitable double error play showed up in the bottom of the 3rd inning allowing Socko to score 3 runs to take the early lead. The rest of the position shake up worked to perfection with Canada holding down second base and Hollywood Bristow making ridiculous plays from shortstop. Canada had several infield assists but the most spectacular play was when Hollywood bobbled the grounder only to flip it behind his back to Canada to record the force out at second. When asking Hollywood how he felt playing short he responded with “Yo son I tell ya what, I’m just ballin out there, feelin the flow, know what I’m saying”. Well no Hollywood, we aren’t sure what you are talking about but you played well.
Disaster was narrowly avoided when an absent babysitter nearly cost the Fat Kids to be a man down in the field. And where was the team mom? “I had to say hi to my family; did you know that the Morroni Family has the greatest concentration of family members in the Denver area than anywhere else?” We did not know that but we are not surprised either. With that near catastrophe avoided the Fat Kids broke out there beaten sticks in the top of the 7th to seal the victory and get the Kids to 3-0 on the season. The big hits were provided by the Siv who dropped a bomb in the first inning and strong base hits from the rest of the squad. The next Fat Kids game is 6/23/10 at 9:00, bring your pj’s and a pillow for this nightcap.
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 6/10/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 6/10/10
Fat Kids Battered but Still Standing
The Fat Kids stumbled a few times on Wednesday night but came out of the game victorious. The evening was a roller coaster of emotion with innings of scoring a bunch of runs and then returning the favor and giving up a bunch of runs. The low light of the evening was the loss of one of the Fat Kids most likely for the season. In the end, timely hitting and just enough defense leave the Kids 2-0 for the summer season.
The top of the first inning saw the Fat Kids unable to stop the Purple People Eaters from dropping in shallow hits into the outfield coupled with seeing eye ground balls on their way to scoring 6 runs. “What’s with these guys, they hit the ball so softly it doesn’t even make it to the co-ed line, but we can’t seem to do anything with it” a frustrated El Sukador said. The Fat kids were left shaking their heads but came back and answered with 5 runs of their own. The battle continued throughout the game with each team taking turns sharing the lead.
In the bottom of the fifth on slow ground ball to second base hit by Alejandro Holder , Canada attempted to break up the double play and the shortstop made a late throw offline. The throw solidly connected with Holders jaw dropping him to the ground instantly. Team tough guy Kyle the Bully said after the game “I’m the toughest guy around, if the ball hit me like that I would have been on the ground crying, but Holder took that one like a champ!” It turns out Alejandro broke his jaw in two places and is awaiting surgical advise. We wish him well and hope he is back out there with his team soon.
The game didn’t end on a sad note however as the Fat Kids came charging back in the bottom of the sixth to run out over four and half minutes on the clock scoring enough runs to take the lead and win the game. Over those last minutes of the game the team experienced the most consistent hitting from the lead off of Hippie down through Jimbo “The Blackhawks didn’t end up choking but we all know the Cubs will” Paliga. Jimbo and Frankie were on target several times perfectly placing slap hits to the right field corner, Jim actually ran all the way to second. Way to go Jimbo! The Fat Kids are now 2-0 in summer play and face off against a familiar for in Team Socko next week.
Get better soon Holder.
Fat Kids Battered but Still Standing
The Fat Kids stumbled a few times on Wednesday night but came out of the game victorious. The evening was a roller coaster of emotion with innings of scoring a bunch of runs and then returning the favor and giving up a bunch of runs. The low light of the evening was the loss of one of the Fat Kids most likely for the season. In the end, timely hitting and just enough defense leave the Kids 2-0 for the summer season.
The top of the first inning saw the Fat Kids unable to stop the Purple People Eaters from dropping in shallow hits into the outfield coupled with seeing eye ground balls on their way to scoring 6 runs. “What’s with these guys, they hit the ball so softly it doesn’t even make it to the co-ed line, but we can’t seem to do anything with it” a frustrated El Sukador said. The Fat kids were left shaking their heads but came back and answered with 5 runs of their own. The battle continued throughout the game with each team taking turns sharing the lead.
In the bottom of the fifth on slow ground ball to second base hit by Alejandro Holder , Canada attempted to break up the double play and the shortstop made a late throw offline. The throw solidly connected with Holders jaw dropping him to the ground instantly. Team tough guy Kyle the Bully said after the game “I’m the toughest guy around, if the ball hit me like that I would have been on the ground crying, but Holder took that one like a champ!” It turns out Alejandro broke his jaw in two places and is awaiting surgical advise. We wish him well and hope he is back out there with his team soon.
The game didn’t end on a sad note however as the Fat Kids came charging back in the bottom of the sixth to run out over four and half minutes on the clock scoring enough runs to take the lead and win the game. Over those last minutes of the game the team experienced the most consistent hitting from the lead off of Hippie down through Jimbo “The Blackhawks didn’t end up choking but we all know the Cubs will” Paliga. Jimbo and Frankie were on target several times perfectly placing slap hits to the right field corner, Jim actually ran all the way to second. Way to go Jimbo! The Fat Kids are now 2-0 in summer play and face off against a familiar for in Team Socko next week.
Get better soon Holder.
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 6/3/10
Fat Kids Feast
In the first game of the summer softball season the Fat Kids picked up where they left off from the spring. A big win to start the season is exactly what was needed to shake off the added pressure that came from the spring playoffs. The bats were still hot and the defense was staunch once again as the Fat kids easily beat the Coyotes 17-7.
The scoring was lead by Super Freas, Caliente Carlos, and Kris “The Chode” Cannode all with in the park Home Runs. The most surprising being “The Chode’s” home run since he usually decides he has ran enough by the time he reaches second base. The Pink Helmet was worn for the first time by Super Freas after “striking out” in the championship game, it didn’t seem to faze him as he unnecessarily belly flop slide across home plate to start the scoring run in the first. Hollywood Bristow scored 5 times in the game despite going 0-4 at the plate, gotta love the pinch runner rule for “injured players”, this journalist believes The Siv is just lazy.
There wasn’t just great offense in this game there was a little defense displayed as well. El Sukador had a great throw to gun down a runner at 3rd and the Canadian made a great play on a deep fly ball to end an inning. The same batter an inning earlier drove a deep fly ball which was easily playable however Jimbo “Blackhawks Choked” Paliga seemed to not be paying attention to his GPS system in trying to track down the fly ball and the runner safely stopped at second for a 2 run double. “Not real sure what happened out there, guess that will teach me to No Show, No Call for the playoffs and Championship game, karma I guess” Blackhawks Choked was quoted after the game.
The game was ended on a walk off sacrifice fly by Super Freas to score Hollywood Bristow. Hollywood reached third as the previous batter by running through every stop sign and road block in front of him, stretching a routine single into a triple. The celebration began in the parking lot where El Sukador was caught getting “Iced” by being the first to reach into the cooler and pulled out a lukewarm Smirnoff Ice, bottoms up buddy.
In the first game of the summer softball season the Fat Kids picked up where they left off from the spring. A big win to start the season is exactly what was needed to shake off the added pressure that came from the spring playoffs. The bats were still hot and the defense was staunch once again as the Fat kids easily beat the Coyotes 17-7.
The scoring was lead by Super Freas, Caliente Carlos, and Kris “The Chode” Cannode all with in the park Home Runs. The most surprising being “The Chode’s” home run since he usually decides he has ran enough by the time he reaches second base. The Pink Helmet was worn for the first time by Super Freas after “striking out” in the championship game, it didn’t seem to faze him as he unnecessarily belly flop slide across home plate to start the scoring run in the first. Hollywood Bristow scored 5 times in the game despite going 0-4 at the plate, gotta love the pinch runner rule for “injured players”, this journalist believes The Siv is just lazy.
There wasn’t just great offense in this game there was a little defense displayed as well. El Sukador had a great throw to gun down a runner at 3rd and the Canadian made a great play on a deep fly ball to end an inning. The same batter an inning earlier drove a deep fly ball which was easily playable however Jimbo “Blackhawks Choked” Paliga seemed to not be paying attention to his GPS system in trying to track down the fly ball and the runner safely stopped at second for a 2 run double. “Not real sure what happened out there, guess that will teach me to No Show, No Call for the playoffs and Championship game, karma I guess” Blackhawks Choked was quoted after the game.
The game was ended on a walk off sacrifice fly by Super Freas to score Hollywood Bristow. Hollywood reached third as the previous batter by running through every stop sign and road block in front of him, stretching a routine single into a triple. The celebration began in the parking lot where El Sukador was caught getting “Iced” by being the first to reach into the cooler and pulled out a lukewarm Smirnoff Ice, bottoms up buddy.
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 5/26/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 5/26/10
Fat Kid Run Out of Gas
5/26/10
The second round of the playoffs was met with great anticipation as the Fat Kids had never participated in a late playoff run. The first game of the night was a defensive battle against a team which had previously pummeled the hapless Fat kids. The game was highlighted by tremendous fielding lights out pitching, and a game of “Where’s Jimbo?”
A 1 run lead was held by the fat kids going into the 6th before Sky Ridge medical got on a the board scoring 2 runs in the bottom half of the inning. The wind was wreaking havoc on anything hit in the air. The scoring was nearly broken wide open in the top the 4th with bases loaded and two outs when what seemed to be a crushed flyball to left field for a sure grand slam by Super Freas when the ball fell helplessly on the warning track for the third out. “The wind was really blowing out there today, we had to stake Hollywood down out there otherwise he might have landed in Kansas” noted the new Tom Selleck Magnum PI aka Hot Toddy aka Hot Kezzy aka Caliente Carlos. This game would be capped off by several outstanding defensive plays from the middle infield tandem of Alejandro Holder and UGA. This game would end as the Fat Kids the winner 5-3 over Sky Ridge advancing them to their first ever championship game.
We still haven’t found Jimbo, it was rumored that there was a leak at the water factory and he was called upon to stick his finger in it preventing him from attending the biggest game of the year…slacker. The championship game featured two opponents with a close history between team Socko and the Fat Kids. If you remember the Fat Kids won in the bottom of the 7th on a Kris “the Chode” Cannode’s line drive game winning hit. Unlike the first game of the evening there was some scoring involved. The first 5 RBI’s were brought in by Super Freas on a in the park homer and a triple the next inning. The hitting continued as the Fat Kids held a 9-7 lead late in the game when the umpire could not decide if he wanted it to be the 6th or 7th inning. With everyone believing it to be the top of 7 and the Fat Kids only needing 3 outs to secure their first ever championship, the third out was caught and the celebration started only to be halted abruptly by the umpire who decided it was actually only the 6th…oopsie. The Fat Kids failed to run out the clock with El sukador getting hosed on a called third strike when the ball clearly missed the mat by more than 6 inches, the ump didn’t believe the crater in the ground that El Sukador pointed at was valid for where the ball landed. Two more week fly balls ended the inning giving Team Socko they needed to score 6 runs and go up 13-9 in the New top of the 7th. The fireworks were set to go off on yet another wild comeback by the Fat Kids with 3 consecutive singles and a sacrifice fly the Fat kids were within 3 with Super Freas coming to the plate. On a 2-2 count the pitcher tossed a moon ball that landed squarely in the middle of the plate for an apparent strike 3, after an expletive filled tirade by super freas unleashed upon the umpire the game was quickly ended with the Fat kids flying out to end the game and their hopes of their first championship.
Congratulations to the Fat Kids on a great spring season. This journalist is looking forward to the summer season where hopefully the Fat Kids will play their way to another championship run…with out that umpire (it was confirmed this morning that he won’t be calling any of our games again).
Fat Kid Run Out of Gas
5/26/10
The second round of the playoffs was met with great anticipation as the Fat Kids had never participated in a late playoff run. The first game of the night was a defensive battle against a team which had previously pummeled the hapless Fat kids. The game was highlighted by tremendous fielding lights out pitching, and a game of “Where’s Jimbo?”
A 1 run lead was held by the fat kids going into the 6th before Sky Ridge medical got on a the board scoring 2 runs in the bottom half of the inning. The wind was wreaking havoc on anything hit in the air. The scoring was nearly broken wide open in the top the 4th with bases loaded and two outs when what seemed to be a crushed flyball to left field for a sure grand slam by Super Freas when the ball fell helplessly on the warning track for the third out. “The wind was really blowing out there today, we had to stake Hollywood down out there otherwise he might have landed in Kansas” noted the new Tom Selleck Magnum PI aka Hot Toddy aka Hot Kezzy aka Caliente Carlos. This game would be capped off by several outstanding defensive plays from the middle infield tandem of Alejandro Holder and UGA. This game would end as the Fat Kids the winner 5-3 over Sky Ridge advancing them to their first ever championship game.
We still haven’t found Jimbo, it was rumored that there was a leak at the water factory and he was called upon to stick his finger in it preventing him from attending the biggest game of the year…slacker. The championship game featured two opponents with a close history between team Socko and the Fat Kids. If you remember the Fat Kids won in the bottom of the 7th on a Kris “the Chode” Cannode’s line drive game winning hit. Unlike the first game of the evening there was some scoring involved. The first 5 RBI’s were brought in by Super Freas on a in the park homer and a triple the next inning. The hitting continued as the Fat Kids held a 9-7 lead late in the game when the umpire could not decide if he wanted it to be the 6th or 7th inning. With everyone believing it to be the top of 7 and the Fat Kids only needing 3 outs to secure their first ever championship, the third out was caught and the celebration started only to be halted abruptly by the umpire who decided it was actually only the 6th…oopsie. The Fat Kids failed to run out the clock with El sukador getting hosed on a called third strike when the ball clearly missed the mat by more than 6 inches, the ump didn’t believe the crater in the ground that El Sukador pointed at was valid for where the ball landed. Two more week fly balls ended the inning giving Team Socko they needed to score 6 runs and go up 13-9 in the New top of the 7th. The fireworks were set to go off on yet another wild comeback by the Fat Kids with 3 consecutive singles and a sacrifice fly the Fat kids were within 3 with Super Freas coming to the plate. On a 2-2 count the pitcher tossed a moon ball that landed squarely in the middle of the plate for an apparent strike 3, after an expletive filled tirade by super freas unleashed upon the umpire the game was quickly ended with the Fat kids flying out to end the game and their hopes of their first championship.
Congratulations to the Fat Kids on a great spring season. This journalist is looking forward to the summer season where hopefully the Fat Kids will play their way to another championship run…with out that umpire (it was confirmed this morning that he won’t be calling any of our games again).
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 6/5/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 6/5/10
Platte River Fat Kids Ride the Moustache Rally to Victory
The Cinco de Mayo celebration had a few celebrities make an appearance yesterday, The Three Amigos! No not Ricky, Vance, and Mark. It was none other than Caliente Carlos, El Handlebar Hollywood, and Rico Suave all sporting their facial super powers proudly upon their upper lip. This unknown power would supply a team with all the timely hitting, defense, and rally power the Fat Kids would need heading into the playoffs.
The Fat kids could not seem to gain any traction twice giving up big innings to team Socko despite a great defensive catch by El Sukador aka SOX. But there was a small spark that ignited the team. A routine sacrifice fly scoring El Handlebar Hollywood from second got the team going. “I ate a bunch of candy (twitch) before the game so I was really (twitch) flying around out there (twitch)” Hollywood was heard saying. The timely hitting continued with Alejandro Holder and Newman (Seinfeld voiceover) getting singles. Rico Suave stepped to the plate with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 5th and quickly deposited his first grand slam over the left-center field fence. “I told that ball to get out and not look back, it’s a good thing it listened” noted Mr. Suave
It was the bottom of the 6th inning that where the Fat kids put it all together after having given up 5 more runs despite excellent work from Pete the Pitcher. With one out and runners on 2nd and 3rd, Team Socko was clearly scared of the power from El Sukador and opted to walk him to face the confident Chode Cannode. With bases loaded the ever dangerous Chode strutted to the plate stopping to comment to the catcher “let’s get this over with, I know I’m gonna blow it”. With one swing of the bat the ball glanced off the third baseman scoring the tying run and an errant throw to second to plate the winning run which was scored by Newman (Seinfeld voiceover) who had to retrace his steps a retouch home plate. The victory firmly placed the Fat Kids in the 3rd seed for the playoffs and finishing what was the best regular spring season.
The playoff moustaches will make another appearance next week as the single elimination playoffs begin. Game time has yet to be determined.
Platte River Fat Kids Ride the Moustache Rally to Victory
The Cinco de Mayo celebration had a few celebrities make an appearance yesterday, The Three Amigos! No not Ricky, Vance, and Mark. It was none other than Caliente Carlos, El Handlebar Hollywood, and Rico Suave all sporting their facial super powers proudly upon their upper lip. This unknown power would supply a team with all the timely hitting, defense, and rally power the Fat Kids would need heading into the playoffs.
The Fat kids could not seem to gain any traction twice giving up big innings to team Socko despite a great defensive catch by El Sukador aka SOX. But there was a small spark that ignited the team. A routine sacrifice fly scoring El Handlebar Hollywood from second got the team going. “I ate a bunch of candy (twitch) before the game so I was really (twitch) flying around out there (twitch)” Hollywood was heard saying. The timely hitting continued with Alejandro Holder and Newman (Seinfeld voiceover) getting singles. Rico Suave stepped to the plate with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 5th and quickly deposited his first grand slam over the left-center field fence. “I told that ball to get out and not look back, it’s a good thing it listened” noted Mr. Suave
It was the bottom of the 6th inning that where the Fat kids put it all together after having given up 5 more runs despite excellent work from Pete the Pitcher. With one out and runners on 2nd and 3rd, Team Socko was clearly scared of the power from El Sukador and opted to walk him to face the confident Chode Cannode. With bases loaded the ever dangerous Chode strutted to the plate stopping to comment to the catcher “let’s get this over with, I know I’m gonna blow it”. With one swing of the bat the ball glanced off the third baseman scoring the tying run and an errant throw to second to plate the winning run which was scored by Newman (Seinfeld voiceover) who had to retrace his steps a retouch home plate. The victory firmly placed the Fat Kids in the 3rd seed for the playoffs and finishing what was the best regular spring season.
The playoff moustaches will make another appearance next week as the single elimination playoffs begin. Game time has yet to be determined.
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 4/28/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 4/28/10
The Circus Makes a Stop In Englewood
There were no elephants or trapeze artists on location last night but there were plenty of clowns, high wire acts, and jugglers to put on a show that Barnum Brothers would be ashamed of.
The story of the night was the clown behind home plate that was calling balls and strikes with the accuracy of the three blind mice. Peter the Great was quoted " I didn't think Dick Beveta was in town officiating the Nuggets game but he apparently brought his cousin to ump softball".
The Platte River Fat Kids could do no right in a losing effort that lasted only 4 1/2 innings after getting 10-runned losing 14-2. Hollywood Bradley was caught muttering under his breath "If we keep juggling the ball like this we're all gonna be sent down the minors...are there minors in beer league softball?" Fielding errors were prominent through out the game leaving Peter the Great's ERA somewhere in the double digits, although he argued that only 2 were earned.
There was some excitement in the game in the bottom of the second when someone unknowingly placed a clothesline by home plate. Kyle the Bully was seen shaking his head obviously concerned over the well fare of the fallen player. "I was going to catch the errant throw by our jackass outfielder and my forearm happened to land in his chest, its not my fault he did a back flip". The opposing player crawled into the dugout much to the disagreement of Brian "Tapout" Boytano who had a few choice words for the catcher. The Bully was unfazed by this attempt of confrontation as he knew there was plenty of backup from the wives/girlfriends in the dugout who were still fuming from the crop dust attempt of the 3rd base coach.
Fortunately there is 1 more game before the playoffs start so the Fat kids have another shot to improve their seeding. Game time is at 6 with heading to the team sponsor post game.
Don't forget the next game is on Cinco De Mayo and Moustaches are required, and if you have a sombrero you get bonus points!
Next Game: 5/5/10 6:00pm
No TV or Radio
The Circus Makes a Stop In Englewood
There were no elephants or trapeze artists on location last night but there were plenty of clowns, high wire acts, and jugglers to put on a show that Barnum Brothers would be ashamed of.
The story of the night was the clown behind home plate that was calling balls and strikes with the accuracy of the three blind mice. Peter the Great was quoted " I didn't think Dick Beveta was in town officiating the Nuggets game but he apparently brought his cousin to ump softball".
The Platte River Fat Kids could do no right in a losing effort that lasted only 4 1/2 innings after getting 10-runned losing 14-2. Hollywood Bradley was caught muttering under his breath "If we keep juggling the ball like this we're all gonna be sent down the minors...are there minors in beer league softball?" Fielding errors were prominent through out the game leaving Peter the Great's ERA somewhere in the double digits, although he argued that only 2 were earned.
There was some excitement in the game in the bottom of the second when someone unknowingly placed a clothesline by home plate. Kyle the Bully was seen shaking his head obviously concerned over the well fare of the fallen player. "I was going to catch the errant throw by our jackass outfielder and my forearm happened to land in his chest, its not my fault he did a back flip". The opposing player crawled into the dugout much to the disagreement of Brian "Tapout" Boytano who had a few choice words for the catcher. The Bully was unfazed by this attempt of confrontation as he knew there was plenty of backup from the wives/girlfriends in the dugout who were still fuming from the crop dust attempt of the 3rd base coach.
Fortunately there is 1 more game before the playoffs start so the Fat kids have another shot to improve their seeding. Game time is at 6 with heading to the team sponsor post game.
Don't forget the next game is on Cinco De Mayo and Moustaches are required, and if you have a sombrero you get bonus points!
Next Game: 5/5/10 6:00pm
No TV or Radio
Denver Post South Suburban Edition 4/22/10
Denver Post South Suburban Edition
4/22/10
The Fat Kids Roll On
The Platte River Fat Kids have been on a roll. They have been down opponents about as fast as they down hot wings and beer. On this evening the team was lead by a stellar pitching performance from Peter the Great which had a shutout going until the right fielder committed a costly error to allow a run. When interviewing Kris " The Chode" Cannode, right field, he said "I was off my game tonight, i can usually throw the ball directly over the head of the cutoff man but i missed everything tonight". Peter the Great begrudgingly accepted The Chode's apology.
The run scoring bonanza was kicked off in the first inning where the first two hitters, Hollywood and Hot Toddy, singled and a 3-run bomb was delivered by the newly dubbed "Cycle Machine". The home run was debated by the next 2 hitters in line, Siv and Kyle "The Bully" Bremen. The Bully was unusually subdued on this evening which this reporter believes to be due to his new lady in attendance. The trail blazed around the base paths was highlighted by the first in the park dinger for the Chode, who knew he could hit anything but swinging bunts. Another in the park round tripper was recorded by Bradley "Hollywood" Bristow and it was decided later we will stop feeding him candy.
The Platte River Fat Kids face off again next week at 8 PM at Cornerstone #2.
4/22/10
The Fat Kids Roll On
The Platte River Fat Kids have been on a roll. They have been down opponents about as fast as they down hot wings and beer. On this evening the team was lead by a stellar pitching performance from Peter the Great which had a shutout going until the right fielder committed a costly error to allow a run. When interviewing Kris " The Chode" Cannode, right field, he said "I was off my game tonight, i can usually throw the ball directly over the head of the cutoff man but i missed everything tonight". Peter the Great begrudgingly accepted The Chode's apology.
The run scoring bonanza was kicked off in the first inning where the first two hitters, Hollywood and Hot Toddy, singled and a 3-run bomb was delivered by the newly dubbed "Cycle Machine". The home run was debated by the next 2 hitters in line, Siv and Kyle "The Bully" Bremen. The Bully was unusually subdued on this evening which this reporter believes to be due to his new lady in attendance. The trail blazed around the base paths was highlighted by the first in the park dinger for the Chode, who knew he could hit anything but swinging bunts. Another in the park round tripper was recorded by Bradley "Hollywood" Bristow and it was decided later we will stop feeding him candy.
The Platte River Fat Kids face off again next week at 8 PM at Cornerstone #2.
The Double Machine Cycles his team to victory
The Platte River Fat Kids picked up where they left off last season with an offensive explosion. A heavy first inning put the Fat kids on cruise control lead by a 2 RBI double by Scott "The Double Machine" Freas. But the Double machine could have gone with a different name on this night, just call him CycleTastic! Finishing off the 23 - 8 drubbing, Super Freas went 5-5 with 8 RBI's, a single, 2 doubles, a triple, and a 3 run shot in the top of the 5th to end the night on a hot note. " I just went out there and played hard, it was good to see my teammates again after a long offseason. I'm just happy to discover i didnt leave my swing in Mexico". Always a candid character "The Double Machine" laughed and joked his way through the evening bringing out the contagious excitement of beer league softball. It looks to be another promising season for the Fat Kids and "The Double Machine".
Next Game Wednesday 4/14/10 9:00 pm
No TV or Radio broadcast.
Next Game Wednesday 4/14/10 9:00 pm
No TV or Radio broadcast.
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